Why I don't participate in my employer's wellness program

Off the cuff email addressed (and sent) to the Stanford BeWell program:

Hello,

During my first two years as a Stanford employee I participated in the BeWell program. What wasn’t there to like about an easy extra $200? However, my attitude towards the program began to change during my second year of participation.

The in-person screening and advising appointment was very uncomfortable. Emphasis was placed on my weight, and on how I needed to exercise more. As a woman who is 5’7” and 140 lbs, I am by no means overweight. However, the advising, and subsequent follow ups placed undue focus on my body. Having struggled with my self-image for much of my life, and having experienced a surge in weight over the past two years (due in part to added medication), this focus did more harm than good. During a follow up coaching session, I broke down in tears of guilt and frustration. It was then that I realized, the extra $200 was not worth it. Not worth the constant guilt over body weight and image.

One might say, yes, well, you don’t have to focus on physical exercise or weight loss, you could choose to focus on stress, or healthy eating, etc. But the thing is, my life is pretty great as is. My job does not unduly stress me out. I have great family relationships and friendships in my life. I know what helps me decompress after the rare challenging day at the office. I’m a vegetarian and a great cook, and most of my meals are prepared at home. I have an excellent primary care doctor who I trust when I have medical issues.

So when someone asks me, what do you want to focus on? I immediately say the first thing that comes to my mind, and the thing that bothers me the most—my weight. And not once has anyone at BeWell replied with, actually, you’re at a very healthy weight for your age and height. Nope, every time they reply with tips on eating less and exercising more—tips that reinforce my already negative beliefs about myself.

This year I decided to not participate in BeWell. And I’ve already decided that I will not participate next year either. And oddly, I feel like in my own unique way, I’ve chosen what truly makes me feel well.

Sincerely,

Victoria Muirhead